I have known that I worship an amazing God who can move mountains and can command the seas, the thunder and the lightning to shake the entire earth. I know that He can reach his voice to the stars in the galaxy, call them by names and they’ll obey. I know that He can shake the universe as easy as he wants to and every living things on earth will tremble at his voice. I know that he commands the rain, the snow, the water, the ocean and everything in it. I know that before time and space exist he was there and I know that he can do impossible things that a human being possibly couldn’t.
But how come I couldn’t fathom my weakness knowing that I worship an infinite, eternal and forever unchanging God? How come no matter how much I struggle to stay pure and command my body to obey what my soul craves, my flesh denies the cravings of my spirit? How come every time I make a decision to stay pure for the rest of my dating relationship, temptation just knock off my resistance? Could it be that I am powerless enough to overcome it? Or is it a sin in me that hinders me to stay pure no matter how I long to be one? In 2 Corinthians 12:7, Paul described thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to torment him. Is this thorn of the flesh thing is Satan’s way of tempting me to sin, taunting every now and then and threatens my dedication to Christ?
My soul desire is to have a pure heart and mind to serve Christ. To honor, worship him and glorify him for all he is. I know that my dedication to Christ has been tampered by so many things; and if this relationship destroys my relationship with him, how could I ever go on? Could I make it to the very end? I long to see God all the time in my daily walk with him. How I always desire to see him in many ways, shapes and forms. But I guess, I have been blinded by my sinful desire that I couldn’t see him in me. I’ve been so selfish enough to gratify my sinful desire and forget about what pleases him.
However, it has to stop. I can’t allow this sin to control my entire dedication to God. I have to:
- Identify it.
- Confess it.
- Crucify it.
- Whatever I do I have to overcome it.
- And yes, nail it.